Baby Steps Toward Masculine Oblivion

By now, everyone is aware of The Pregnant Man. While rational minds might perceive this transgendered woman as the epitome of feminine empowerment in America, achieving the status of masculine authority while retaining the exclusive life-giving rights of women, Emasculation Nationalists should perceive her as an enemy agent that has successfully infiltrated our ranks. After all, the headlines have dubbed her "The Pregnant Man." No matter what the byline might clarify, the world will forever recognize America as the first, and probably the only, country clever yet foolish enough to subject its men to childbirth.

That this fellow is from "Bend, Oregon" is proof of emasculation conspiracy. He, or she, is, in fact, a "Gender Bender."

Will "a man" give birth the same year America elects its first female President? You can't convince me that a conspiracy isn't afoot . . .

Trying to Make a Monkey Out of Men

Critics have claimed that the latest cover of Vogue likens basketball star LeBron James to King Kong. Is this a racially charged argument, or a sexist one? Fox Sports' Jason Whitlock asks if we'd feel the same way if James was clutching a black woman, but, I wonder, would we feel the same way if a black woman was cluthcing Gisele?

Introduction: The MSN Conspiracy (a.k.a. The eMSNculation Theory)

Almost every time I log in to check my Hotmail account, the MSN or Hotmail homepage contains a "headline" that shamelessly degrades the American male. Consider today's "Dear Prudence" advice column, "He Wears the Skirt in Our Relationship."

In brief, the letter writer explains that her elderly husband agreed to dress up like a woman and stay in character for a Halloween weekend. Now, come spring, he still likes to dress up and even accompanies the letter writer on her excursions with the girls. She asks, "Should I worry?"

Obviously, she's already worried. Yet, while she describes her hubby's newfound femininity as potentially overboard, she doesn't realize that she's also detailed why she is to blame for his undoing. Her letter begins, "We dressed him up as a bride, and he made quite an attractive woman for our age (60)—almost no one recognized him. I had the lady at my salon do his nails, hair (wig), and makeup" (italics mine).

Looks like her prank has blown up in her face, and she doesn't know how to handle the consequences. If a husband wrote a letter like this about his wife, he'd be easily dismissed! "Lighten up, dude!" Prudence would undoubtedly respond. "Let your wife wear the pants . . . literally!" Her crossdressing habits would be deemed "empowering," yet this guy's good nature is quickly dubbed a threat. He's obvious a victim, and he's being blamed for being a victim.

Isn't this the aim of every woman, to make her man more like her? Then, it's just like the woman to blame him when her plan goes too far.

In the meantime, this unfortunate gentleman is the reason I've launched this blog in the first place: masculinity is an endangered mentality in America today. Specifically, the media goes to great lengths to demoralize and humiliate men, and though these efforts are often sold as comedic, you remember the old adage: there's a little truth behind every joke.

Consider this blog a chronicle of these examples, and a call to arms. How long before I'm logging in to check my Hot-she-mail? How long will you let these things continue?