When Who Annoys Who Now?

It doesn't get any more obvious than this: "When Your Guys Annoys You . . ."

Here's an excerpt:

It’s normal to see more of your guy’s flaws over time — the key is not letting them infringe on your affection. “If you can organize your thoughts around his strengths, you’ll concentrate on him as a whole instead of on his imperfections,” says study author John Holmes, PhD, professor of social psychology at the University of Waterloo. He found that couples who do this stay together longer.

We’re not suggesting you try to love his annoying behavior. But you can learn to flip your thinking so you look to the positive. Here, three ways to master the girlfriend mind trick.

John Holmes, I brand you a traitor! Why not write an article about the boyfriend mind trick, eh? You know, the one that helps the average man survive trick questions like, "Do you find her attractive?" or "Do I look fat in this outfit?" Like that isn't annoying . . .!

The Mid-Wife Crisis

An excerpt from MSN's latest anti-male treatise, "Mid-Wife Crisis: I'm Dreaming of Divorce."

. . . Will [isn't] the Very Bad Man that I've made him out to be. Rather, like every other male I know, he is merely a Moderately Bad Man, the kind of man who will leave his longboat-sized shoes directly in the flow of our home's traffic so that one day I'll trip over them, break my neck, and die, after which he'll walk home from the morgue, grief-stricken, take off his shoes with a heavy heart, and leave them in the center of the room until they kill the housekeeper. Everyman.

Notice the copyright at the bottom of the page: Harpo Productions, Inc. As in, Oprah. I wonder if Stedman is the the Everyman.

How the Terrorists Won

On a day that's supposed to bring this country together, why does MSN insist on tearing us apart? Consider this image from their latest emasculating lifestyles article. The implication: women are relationship-builders, while men can only destroy them -- nay, "send her running," undoubtedly with something he did wrong. Further, Oprah's topic today, "Why Men Cheat," really "closes the deal" . . . the terrorists have won. They brought down two of America's most prominent phallic symbols, and now we keep doing it for them.

A Tangled Web . . .

Check out this screen cap from today's Hotmail homepage. Four, count 'em, four headlines demeaning the state of America's male. Sheesh.

When Animals Attack

Don't be deceived by MSN's attempt to celebrate Fathers' Day with this, an article about the top 10 best dads of the animal kingdom: http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/Lists/?article=AnimalDads. I couldn't help but notice the exclusion of one particular species . . . say, Homo sapien?! The subtle implication is that a seahorse can father a child better than a human male! Sure, the antechinus can mate for 12 consecutive hours, but can it make its child support payments on time?

Didn't think so.

The MSN Conspiracy: Giving Birth to Boys is Depressing!

Logging onto MSN today, I saw this feature piece: http://health.msn.com/health-topics/depression/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100198969&GT1=31009, which claims:

New research out of France found that women who gave birth to boys were significantly more likely to suffer from severe postpartum depression than women who gave birth to girls. The findings weren't limited to severe depression: Women who gave birth to boys were also much more likely to report a lower quality of life than women who gave birth to girls.

If that statement isn't troubling enough, look at the picture that accompanies it:

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The message? Wish for a girl! You'll be less depressed, and your "quality of life" will be better! You know what that really means . . . Wish for males to be extinct in just a generation's time! We'll be better off!

If that isn't a conspiracy finally brought to light, I don't know what is.

Baby Steps Toward Masculine Oblivion

By now, everyone is aware of The Pregnant Man. While rational minds might perceive this transgendered woman as the epitome of feminine empowerment in America, achieving the status of masculine authority while retaining the exclusive life-giving rights of women, Emasculation Nationalists should perceive her as an enemy agent that has successfully infiltrated our ranks. After all, the headlines have dubbed her "The Pregnant Man." No matter what the byline might clarify, the world will forever recognize America as the first, and probably the only, country clever yet foolish enough to subject its men to childbirth.

That this fellow is from "Bend, Oregon" is proof of emasculation conspiracy. He, or she, is, in fact, a "Gender Bender."

Will "a man" give birth the same year America elects its first female President? You can't convince me that a conspiracy isn't afoot . . .

Trying to Make a Monkey Out of Men

Critics have claimed that the latest cover of Vogue likens basketball star LeBron James to King Kong. Is this a racially charged argument, or a sexist one? Fox Sports' Jason Whitlock asks if we'd feel the same way if James was clutching a black woman, but, I wonder, would we feel the same way if a black woman was cluthcing Gisele?

Introduction: The MSN Conspiracy (a.k.a. The eMSNculation Theory)

Almost every time I log in to check my Hotmail account, the MSN or Hotmail homepage contains a "headline" that shamelessly degrades the American male. Consider today's "Dear Prudence" advice column, "He Wears the Skirt in Our Relationship."

In brief, the letter writer explains that her elderly husband agreed to dress up like a woman and stay in character for a Halloween weekend. Now, come spring, he still likes to dress up and even accompanies the letter writer on her excursions with the girls. She asks, "Should I worry?"

Obviously, she's already worried. Yet, while she describes her hubby's newfound femininity as potentially overboard, she doesn't realize that she's also detailed why she is to blame for his undoing. Her letter begins, "We dressed him up as a bride, and he made quite an attractive woman for our age (60)—almost no one recognized him. I had the lady at my salon do his nails, hair (wig), and makeup" (italics mine).

Looks like her prank has blown up in her face, and she doesn't know how to handle the consequences. If a husband wrote a letter like this about his wife, he'd be easily dismissed! "Lighten up, dude!" Prudence would undoubtedly respond. "Let your wife wear the pants . . . literally!" Her crossdressing habits would be deemed "empowering," yet this guy's good nature is quickly dubbed a threat. He's obvious a victim, and he's being blamed for being a victim.

Isn't this the aim of every woman, to make her man more like her? Then, it's just like the woman to blame him when her plan goes too far.

In the meantime, this unfortunate gentleman is the reason I've launched this blog in the first place: masculinity is an endangered mentality in America today. Specifically, the media goes to great lengths to demoralize and humiliate men, and though these efforts are often sold as comedic, you remember the old adage: there's a little truth behind every joke.

Consider this blog a chronicle of these examples, and a call to arms. How long before I'm logging in to check my Hot-she-mail? How long will you let these things continue?